I have never been one to shy away from revealing my age. Yes, yes. I know I will probably regret that policy in 5 years’ time, but for now, I am utterly persuaded that the years serve as a reminder of the Lord’s grace/mercy/forbearance. I can point to His goodness in keeping me alive yet another year. And I get to indulge in navel-gazing at least once a year.

So, as I trudge on into my 34^th year, here are a couple of lessons I (keep) learning. I wish I was prolific enough to provide “33 lessons learned by age 33” or some such, but that won’t be happening today. I will be limiting myself to 3 observations (get it??? 33? 3 observations?).

1. Gifts from the parentals get practical. And I am now strangely unbothered by practical ‘need’-gifts (as opposed to ‘want’-gifts. If my 15 year old self had been told that for my 33rd I would be receiving a contribution towards obtaining household appliances, I would have been spitting fire. Even 10 years ago! Now? Now, my heart is all a-flutter. I’m getting old. (It could be a dysrhythmia as well, who knows?)

2. Time passes. Even in a process that seems endless, whether it be singleness, studies, a job you might not particularly like, [fill in blank]. Time will pass. Every decision made during this time, and every response to the frustrating bits of life, contributes to the individuals we become. For good, or for bad. I write this as someone who tends to choose the more militant, and not peace-making, path; who chooses ‘own strength’ above ‘trust in the Lord’ When the challenge ends, and we take stock of (especially) our relationship with the Lord, will we like what we see? It’s difficult to rely on God being faithful in working all things out for our good (Romans 8:28), and shaping us into the likeness of His Son, Jesus. I always think I know best, but I don’t. But thank God for his forbearance with us. Think of that well used analogy of hot water softening the carrot, yet hardening the egg. Don’t be a protein, reader.

3. Dreams will not automatically come true. And nobody is going to give you permission to pursue yours. Did you catch that? No person will give you the permission to express what God has placed inside of you. I learned this the hard way. Before we carry on, may I define ‘dream’? Dream, in this piece, will be understood to mean “goals, passions, ambitions”. That dream of me marrying Michael Ealy? Not what I’m talking about. Do what you love, fam, as long as it’s not sin or illegal. If you don’t know what gives you joy, try something new until you stumble upon it. Time will not stand still for any of us (see point 2). Writing was one of my dreams, hence this essay you are reading. Spoken word was another one of these dreams. I only ever performed in public once, when a mentor took me aside to voice her concerns about the environment in which spoken word is often performed (Hint: some folks used to use creativity-enhancing substances *wink*wink*). Not the right place for a naïve 20 year old. So, I buried that dream completely, waiting for a green light that never came.  A bit extreme. And a lot irresponsible.  Who knows that that gift/passion you have isn’t something we all didn’t know we needed? Go ahead and read all of 1 Corinthians 12. We are all members of the body of Christ, with all our different talents. We need one other.

There you have it. I kept my promise to keep it at 3. Nothing astronomically revolutionary, but some things I know I need to be reminded of often. What about you? In the words of that gentleman in the movie Pretty Woman, “What’s your dream?” Let a sister know. Comment below.

P.S. In the spirit of reviving my love of the spoken word, I went to a spoken-word performance recently. Yeah. I’m too old for such now. Could not keep eyes open past 10pm.

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