We left off in Genesis 29 with Leah having birthed 4 sons. She finally gives God praise for her son (Judah), and then she stops having children for a little bit. The epiphany there, was that after trying to win her husband’s love with sons, she finally gave all praise back to the Almighty.

In the other corner, however, Lil’ Sis Rachel is not joining the praise-fest. She instead continues in the time-honoured (dishonoured?) practice of taking things into her own hands[1]. She gives her servant to Jakey-Jake to “bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.”

OT pimping. Low-tech surrogacy.

I’m side-eyeing this entire account. I mean, Bilhah (that was her name, by the way), didn’t even get naming rights. Rachel used her as an indentured womb, nje. Now, I know someone might point out that that was the way of things back in the day. Anyhoo…

That kid’s name is Dan: “vindicated”. Soon to be followed by Naphtali by way of Bilhah; Naphtali meaning “my struggle”.

Leah, already 4 sons deep, starts getting jealous of Rachel’s having 2 sons and (still) Jacob’s affection. Enter Zilpah, Leah’s servant and Bilhah’s fellow low-tech surrogate.  Also enter Gad (“good fortune”) and Asher (“happy”).

And now, a brief interlude.

Leah-Son #1 goes out and finds mandrake plants. A quick search on a ubiquitous search engine reveals that mandrakes were often used to improve fertility. And they contain deliriant hallucinogenic tropane alkaloids. It was used as an anaesthetic, or to relive rheumatic pains; to treat melancholy, convulsions and mania. In other words, it made the user happily see and hear things not present.

Rachel begged Leah to instruct Reuben to give her some, presumably for the infertility and not the high. Leah, seeing an opportunity, EXCHANGES THE MANDRAKES FOR A NIGHT WITH JACOB! *throws entire situation away*

Jacob was pimped out, by the wife of his heart, for some mandrakes. Mandraaaakes.

And it seems Leah has forgotten all about praising God. With Leah-Son #5, Issachar, she says: “God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband”. Whew! Noooo. I don’t think that’s it, chief.  But wait. There’s more. Leah-Son #6, Zebulun, is born.  “This time, my husband will treat me with honour, because I have borne him 6 sons.”

Sigh. No, sis. Honour, maybe. But Leah’s been looking for love, not honour, and it is not forthcoming.

Also. We’re back to where it started:  looking for hubbo’s approval, and away from God. The tragic thing is, Jacob was probably too busy tending the sheep to even really notice the war in his home. (I wonder how Rachel explained pimping him out).

I really have to reach for the message in this passage. I’m stuck on judging all of them. No Team Leah vs Team Rachel here. In case you’re keeping track, it’s Leah 8 vs Rachel 2. You’re welcome.

But message:

1. Ladies, don’t. Just don’t. This fighting and warring and pimping out of dudes. Nope. It’s not the way.
2. As an added point, fighting over dudes has us getting high on mandrakes and starting low-tech surrogacy joints. It gets messy. Let’s not fight over dudes.
3. And may I add, to any brothers reading this: stick to one wife. It’s a lot calmer.
4. But for real, how short our memories tend to be. Leah was praising God at number 4, and begging for her husband’s approval at number 5. Let us praise God, and keep praising Him, remembering that He is our Source, our Help, our everything.

Whew, I reached for that one.

What are your thoughts on this debacle? Maybe you need to go back and read this again. Please let me know in the comments below when you make sense of the back and forth.

P.S. Remember the names Reuben and Bilhah. Chapter 35. That’s all I have to say about that.

[1] The Grandmama of it all was Ms Sarah.